Wild Ficlets Appear!
by cypheroftyr
Summary: A collection of ficlets I have posted to Tumblr that aren't part of anything else I'm working on.  whole collection is on AO3  Most characters appear in these ficlets. Several other pairings besides Anders/Fenris. Also, AU's, Major Character Death.
1. Moved I

Anders could not tell anyone what made him shove Fenris out to the way of the beast that would have taken him down due to his paralysis. Anders knew fright when he saw it and he knew that Fenris was not going to move before the great cat was upon him. He swore as the creature barreled into him and then screamed as it tried to tear into him as he fought back with fire, ice and his bare fist. The remainder of the fight was a blur as something fought the beast off of him and he blacked out… barely making out Hawke calling his name as he went unconscious.

Fenris paced as he watched Hawke patch up the mage, and feed him a healing potion…he knew why he froze in place, he knew why he could not move even if he'd been commanded to by the Maker himself. He hated that his fear had been revealed to everyone, but mostly because he was now in debt to the mage for saving his life. They pitched camp because it was too dangerous to move Anders and by the time they were done, everyone wanted sleep more than they wanted to grill Fenris about what had happened.

Hawke gave him a look that said he would be stopping by his mansion to get answers as he went to his tent. Fenris offered to take first watch, partially because he was too keyed up to sleep and so he could watch over the sleeping mage. Considering he kept him from becoming that creatures lunch, he might as well keep an eye on him.

Well into the night he heard the mage moving about, mumbling for something… trying to move his bandaged arm. Fenris came over and found that the mage was awake and clearly in pain. He uncapped a lyrium potion and fed it to Anders… it was enough for him to heal himself, stopping the ache in his shoulder where the beast tried to take a bite out of him. Anders went back to sleep, Fenris sitting next to him, unsure of what to do with him.

Sebastian relieved the elf and stood guard over Anders until dawn broke over the camp. He nearly yelped loud enough to wake the camp when Anders awoke and grabbed at his ankle to get his attention.

"You're awake.. good. Let me get you some water." Sebastian filled his canteen and returned to give Anders a drink of water and to see how he was doing.

"Can you speak?"

"Yes, can you unwrap my arm, I need to see what the damage is before I can heal it."

Sebastian nodded and carefully unwrapped his arm for him then sat back while Anders healed himself…after he was done his arm was whole once more, but he didn't trust himself to carry anything.

"It's a good thing you're a healer or you'd be worse off."

"True enough, where's Fenris? I'd hate to have gotten mauled if he wound up …"

"I am here mage… Sebastian if you can give us a moment?"

The prince left them alone, Anders cradling his arm and Fenris sitting next to him… unsure of how he wanted to proceed.

"I… thank you for saving my life."

"You're welcome… what made you freeze up? I've never seen you do that in battle."

"I would rather not speak of it now, but once we have returned to town I will tell you why… can you stand?"

"Probably not, I may need help for a bit longer."

Fenris offered him a hand up and for once Anders didn't argue or bait the elven warrior. He let him help until they got to town… and Anders noticed Fenris wasn't guiding him to the lower levels of Darktown.

"Fenris, I live the other way."

"I wish to… speak to you and you are weakened still, if a Templar raid were to show up you would be defenseless."

"You are right I suppose. Lead on then."


	2. Moved II

Fenris let them into the house and settled Anders into a chair by the fire before he got them refreshments, displeased at the sorry state of his larder after being gone for a couple of days. He returned with a two bottles of a crisp white wine from Rivain,apples and cheese.

After giving Anders a tray he settled into the other chair and gathered his thoughts… finally speaking of what made him lock up in fear. He stared into the fire, clearly seeing back to that night.

"In Minrathous, Magisters liked to hunt great cats for sport… also for their hides, and other things supposedly used in their spells and potions. Danarius always went on those hunts, but never bothered to take me along… I was grateful for that because those creatures always made me uneasy. One of the few things I recalled about them, or maybe a servant told me that I was always afraid of cats, especially the ones that roamed in the jungles of Seheron and Minrathous.

One summer Danarius started taking me along, for what purpose I never figured out. I mostly stood around in the heat trying not to look as panicked as I felt. Once, we had to make camp and return in the morning because hunt had dragged on so long. Since I was the only bodyguard, I was allowed to share in Danarius' tent, the other slaves had to sleep in the opening near camp. None of us wanted to be there, and I could not sleep.

Danarius slept as if dead, the bastard. The screaming of the slaves did wake him and I was out of the tent and ready to either flee or fight. Some of them must have been tracking us after the hunt, and there were four of them in the camp. One had attacked the group of slaves since they were the easiest prey. The sounds that I heard that night haunt me still. The Magisters were fighting them with magic and the slaves that could fight did, some ran which only drew the cats attention to them.

I panicked, for the first time in my memory I panicked when I heard that low growl behind me. I couldn't move, and I closed my eyes, sure that my death was upon me. All I felt was searing pain as it leapt on me, and I remember screaming when that creature sunk its fangs into me. Someone shot it with a fireball, but I was too injured to do more than lay there and hope I would die. I'd suffered incredible pain but something in the animal's bite made me feel like I was on fire.

At some point I must have passed out because I didn't awaken until I was back at the estate. I opened my eyes and was sure my arm had been ripped off or that I was in really dead and that I was in the Void. Unfortunately neither was true."

Anders had been silent until then, cleared his throat to get Fenris' attention.

"I'm sorry Fenris… I'm glad you didn't have to repeat getting mauled by one of those things. I'll have to make sure there's no poison from their bite in my system. Speaking of things in my system, I should probably just have one glass of this wine, and have water."

Fenris got water for them and sat in the chair once more watching the fire. "I am grateful you … shoved me out of the way. After I recovered, Danarius wanted me to go again and I… I begged to remain behind. I told him I'd endure any punishment, do any chore but to not take me. I'd never shown fear in battle, not when taking on men twice my size, but he saw then what terrified me almost to the point of tears. I even said I'd rather be in Hadriana's company than attend another hunt.

He didn't leave me in her care but he was displeased. He merely told them I was not fully recovered from the assault. Eventually he stopped suggesting I should go. I would have the same reply every time, panic and begging not to go. I happily would have endured a beating, being a magisters toy, anything not to go on another one of those hunts. The subject was finally dropped by the next summer, even though my fear had abated, I knew I would not be of any use if we'd gotten cornered by the beasts again.

It was always something he brought up when I was punished for even the smallest thing. Hadriana enjoyed tormenting me about it. It was the one thing that shamed me as his slave, if you heard him tell it. If those slavers have these beasts with them, they may be running free in the area near those caves… if we hear of villagers or miners being carried off, then they might have more of them."

"No one has come to me for treatment of great cat inflicted wounds, but if they do I will let you and Hawke know. I won't be opening the clinic for a few days… in face I don't know if I can get home right now."

"You are sleeping here, my bed is larger than that cot you sleep on. I owe you a life debt mage, and I will not begin my repayment by letting you sleep there when there is a comfortable bed here."

"Fenris, you own me no such thing. We were in combat, you would have been attacked and I was closest. I'm healed up and you have satisfied my curiosity. I do not wish to have such a thing between us."

"It's a matter of my honor mage, you saved my life at grievous injury to yourself. Do not deny me in this."

"Very well… it would be poor manners to offend your honor serah." Anders stood up and hissed in pain… even though his arm was healed it was sore, and felt a bit warm where the worst damage was. "I .. need your help to bed, wherever that may be."

Fenris supported him and helped him upstairs to the room he'd claimed as his. Anders winced as he worked his coat off, swearing about all the toggles and clasps on it but managing to get it off. He looked through the pouch he carried for antidotes to poison, but realized he didn't have any with him.

"Damn, no poison antidotes on me. In the morning may I ask one more favor of you?"

"Yes…"

"Escort me home, provided I am not still this … tired? I'm worried that the bite may be poisoned or infected still. You may want to move back, I'm going to heal and I know you hate having magic used near you."

Fenris went to the doorway as Anders cast more healing magic on his arm. Once the mage was done he returned to see if there was anything else he needed.

"No, just sleep. Thank you Fenris… I'm … grateful for your help."

"You are welcome… sleep, you need the rest."

Anders couldn't argue that and went to sleep moments after he'd stretched out on the bed.

Fenris remained there for a few moments, watching Anders sleep until he felt the days events wearing him down as well. He stretched out in one of the chairs by the fireplace, a blanket over him… sleeping peacefully until he heard the noises coming from his room that had him on his feet with sword in hand in moments. He took the stairs two at a time, opened the door to find Anders writhing in agony on the floor, choking on something.

"Mage… whats'… wrong-?"

Fenris stopped speaking as he witnessed Anders change from man to part beast before him. The tail that waved from the back of the mages pants, the way his ears took on a feline shape, sharper, longer canine teeth gleamed in the moonlight, the razor sharp claws that replaced his blunt nails… and the feline eyes, still a warm honey brown but slitted in the center like a cat.

"Anders…"

At his name Anders looked up at Fenris with a quizzical look, then down at his hands, flexing the claws before he turned his head and took in tail now swishing back and forth. He ripped a hole to accommodate the new appendage before turning his attention on the elf that was staring at him.

He stood unsteadily, and realized that he'd also sprouted claws on his feet which shredded his boots… he kicked them off and then turned to Fenris with a look on his face that was mostly confusion but feral, he could smell the fear that was radiating off of Fenris and he liked it.

"Anders… do you understand me?" Fenris had backed out to the hallway and was trying not to panic as he found the stairs. He knew he probably shouldn't turn his back on whatever Anders had become, but he didn't trust himself navigating the stairs in the state he was in. He didn't get the chance to run because Anders was on him in moments, ears back, claws sheathed for the moment but sharp teeth were inches from his face.

Anders could still speak in Trade tongue and he asked the elf under him…"What happened to me?"

"I don't know… get off me. I… off me." Fenris realized he was trying to make himself as small as possible to get away from whatever Anders had transformed into. He felt like he was going to pass out if Anders didn't move.

The mage got off of him and sat on the bed, staring at the claws he was able to sheathe and unsheathe, like a house cat. "Just when I thought my life couldn't get any stranger. At least I'm still mostly human."

"I've never heard of this happening, I … how does this happen?"

"I don't know. I don't recall being hit by any magic during the fight. Unless these creatures were bred with this ability. Perhaps there's some latent shape shifting ability in my blood that never was dominant and the poisonous bite triggered it… I don't know how Fenris. I can't go out like this either. Take your bed, I'm wide awake now and I might as well figure these new things out."

"I'm not sleeping… not after this."

"As you wish, may I explore the mansion… I am restless and I do not wish to give in to the instinct to hunt, because you are the closest prey at the moment."

"Yes… do as you will, I will be in here, with the door barred." Fenris shut the door as soon as Anders had left, then sat on his bed, hand on the pommel of his sword, ready in case Anders could not fight his new predatory instincts. He looked up and saw a full moon, closed his eyes and hoped that the mage would change back in the morning like creatures of legend that Hawke had told him about. If not, he didn't know if he could remain in the mansion with him… not when every instinct told him to run as far away from Anders as possible.

Fenris sat there, staring at the door for the remainder of the night… and waited.


	3. Moved III

Fenris sat up with a start, he'd fallen asleep at some point sitting on his bed. He went to the door and unbarred it, opening it just enough to look around before he cautiously went out to see where the mage had gotten off to. He crept around the upper level without finding Anders anywhere. He made it down to the middle of the staircase when he found him sprawled out in front of the fireplace, tail flicking lazily back and forth. From where he was standing he couldn't tell if he was asleep or merely lazing about.

Fenris walked softly, trying to avoid garnering Anders attention if he was awake but he should have realized that the mage could sense him with more than his hearing.

"I'm not asleep and I'm not in the mood to hunt Fenris, it's safe."

"So you say, how do I know its not a trap?"

"I could have been upon you in a heartbeat if I truly felt like it, but I don't. I've been here for a while, thinking. I'm sorry if I frightened you after I…changed. It's hard to fight the cat like instincts."

Fenris came over with his sword in hand and observed the mage. He looked like an overgrown pet, lazing on his side, idly batting at a loose cord in the rug. All he needed was a bowl of milk and food to finish the illusion.

"It's not your fault you turned into whatever… you are now. Forgive me if I am still wary."

"It's understandable, I suppose I'd be the same if our positions were reversed." Anders stretched out with a noise that was between a growl and a sigh. He realized he was taller than Fenris, probably for the first time ever. It's not like they'd really been this close to each other for long periods of time. He came over and dropped to his haunches, and actually nuzzled against Fenris' free hand like a … well like a house cat.

"What are you doing?"

"Being affectionate… can't … help it. Some instincts are stronger than others right now. Besides isn't it better for me to be begging for a scratch behind the ear than trying to devour you whole?"

"I guess. Will you hiss and bite me if I don't pet you?"

"Probably not, but cats are fickle you know."

"You're not a cat, you are a man."

"Hmm more like half and half at the moment. Come sit with me, I promise I won't bite."

Fenris sat in the chair and Anders curled around his legs, his head resting on Fenris' thigh so he could get scratched behind the ear. He didn't realize how sensitive cats ears were until Fenris ran a finger up to the tip out of curiosity. He made a strangled half moan and flicked his tail like a whip.

"Did that hurt?"

"No… no it was anything but painful. Again please?"

"Don't bite me."

"I won't…"

Anders wrapped his hand around the arm of the chair so he wouldn't scratch Fenris on accident, especially considering the noise he made when the elf intentionally rand a couple fingers over his ear again. He didn't think anything could feel as good in that moment but clearly his body was acting more felid than human because he really liked how that felt.

"Don't stop…"

"Mage… are you… enjoying that?"

"Yes and if you stop I will not be happy."

"You can't keep me in this chair all day scratching you. We should look into getting this reversed."

"Fine, just a bit more? It's been a while since I've … since anyone has touched me… in any way like this."

Fenris hesitated for a moment then resumed stroking his ear, occasionally switching to a rub along the back of his head and the tip of his tail when it curled near to Fenris's hands. Fenris stopped only when his hand got tired and Anders was flickering his tail in a way that he couldn't interpret as good or agitated.

"My hand is tired… and you are a dead weight on my legs. Move."

Anders stood up and went up to Fenris' room and promptly curled up on the bed to sleep. Fenris stood up to get the feeling back into his legs and use the privy. He returned to the foyer to find Hawke standing there with an angry look on his face. He sighed internally and beckoned him to finish entering.

"I suppose you are here to yell at me about getting your mage injured?"

"No, I'm going to yell at Anders for getting himself injured. He didn't have to risk his life like that. He's a mage, a ranged fighter… it was a stupid move."

"Would you have preferred I died instead?"

"No, Fenris… I didn't mean that you know I care about you."

"He's upstairs, possibly asleep. There were other effects to his injury."

"What do you mean other effects? Did he sprout a tail and kitty whiskers?"

They both jumped when Anders came down the stairs with a glare at Hawke.

"Well I do have a tail, but no whiskers, not yet. It may have been a stupid move, but I was closest and I wasn't about to let him get eaten by that beast. If you came here to yell, get it out of your system then leave."

"I… was being sarcastic when I said that. How did this happen?"

Anders recoiled when Hawke reached out to touch one of the feline ears, the fur the same coppery red as his hair. "Don't touch… they are … sensitive."

Fenris seemed surprised at Anders refusal to let Hawke touch him. Perhaps this was part of the change that had come over him? Perhaps he was as selective in who got to touch him as the cats he always fawned over.

"I'll go find Merrill, perhaps she knows Keeper magic that will fix this."

"If not, perhaps we'll have to find the Witch of the Wilds."

"You can look for Asha'Bellanar if it comes to that, she gives me the creeps."

"Thanks for the help Hawke, really. I'll stay here if you need to go out Fenris, I can't really be seen like this and there's no hiding the tail even if I could hide the ears."

"Um… thank you." Fenris was at a loss as to what to do with Anders and Hawke at the moment.

"I'm going back to sleep, let me know when you want your bed back."

Anders left Hawke and Fenris to their discussion, and Fenris turned to Hawke with a shrug.

"No idea how it happened, no idea if it can be fixed. He went to sleep then woke up screaming as the change happened. I'm going to leave with you, I need supplies."

"I'll get Merrill and bring her back here, is that ok with you?"

"It will have to be Hawke. I just hope she can turn him back to normal without cooing over him like she does with all the cats she's managed to find in the city. They'll never leave each other alone if he can't be changed back."

"You almost sound jealous."

"I am not, let's go Hawke… I have a feeling I'm going to need a lot more food than usual."

Hawke went to the Alienage and Fenris to the market… each lost in thoughts of what to do with the cat-mage in their midst.


	4. Moved IV

Fenris returned to find Hawke and Merrill standing in his foyer and Anders in a crouch a few feet away snarling at them. He put is purchases away and came back to find them all in the same awkward stand off. Anders looked ready to spring upon Merrill, Hawke stood in front of her to defend her and Fenris was simply annoyed.

"Why are you two standing there like golems?"

"He started growling and hissing at Merrill as soon as she got within a couple feet of him. He won't let Merrill touch him and when she tried to cast he flexed his claws at us."

Fenris tilted his head and looked at Anders, he noted the tense posture and the way he was tensed, his ears back and the hateful look directed towards Merrill.

"He's never liked you Merrill, perhaps this is more of a feline way to show his feelings?"

Fenris shrugged and took a seat while, which brought Anders over to crouch in front of him and resume his baleful look at Merrill.

"I'll come back, maybe he will be more agreeable tomorrow. Goodbye Fenris."

Fenris waved them off then watched as Anders relaxed, and turned around to nuzzle against his leg again.

"I am not petting you until I've had dinner and a bath. We need to get you at least a change of clothing and you could use a bath as well."

Anders made a face at the mention of a bath…clearly the felid sign was getting stronger because he knew if Fenris tried to force him into a tub then, it would get ugly pretty quickly.

"I should be able to use the tunnels to get to and from the clinic. I shall return shortly."

"No you will not go alone. Give me time to take a bath, then I will go with you."

"I'm a grown… something I can go to my own home and back without an escort thank you very much."

"I take it you have forgotten the tail and ears you now have? People will think you a demon incarnate or worse. You can wait a bit longer for me."

"Fine… have your bath. I'll be down here waiting."

Fenris went off to have a bath, Anders sulked by the fire until Fenris was ready to go. After a tense trip to Darktown, they returned to the mansion, Anders ripping off the scarf that Fenris had him wear as soon as they were inside.

"Bath.. now."

"I don't need a bath, you exaggerate Fenris."

"I do not. Bath.. now Anders."

"Make me."

Anders glared at Fenris until he was pulled into the bathing chamber by the collar of his tunic and held until Fenris had run a bath for him.

"You are filthy, and you have been crawling around in the lower chambers of this mansion. You will not sleep in my bed until you have bathed."

Fenris got a low growl in response and a hiss as Anders fought him, feline instincts driving him to move away from the tub instead of toward it like normal. Fenris had enough of his fighting and shoved him into the water, and held him there, unwilling to compromise on the mage needing to be clean before he was allowed to sleep in his bed again.

"Here, come out only when you are clean. Grooming yourself as a cat does not count."

Anders sat there, grumpy and displeased at being drenched even though he knew he needed to wash. After much fussing and snarling under his breath at the elf that awaited his exit from the bath. He got out and dried off, sure that Fenris would find some fault with his cleanliness and not allow him back on his bed.

"Do I meet your requirements serah elf?"

"You'll do. Get in and sleep. I will take the chairs by the fire."

"No, take your bed and I will sleep downstairs…no arguments…it's easier that way."

Fenris didn't have a chance to protest further as Anders stalked off and left him to his sleep. He would have left the door simply locked if not for the mages parting shot.

"I'd bar that if i were you…I'm feeling… antsy; and hungry."

Fenris waited for him to leave then threw the bolt, barred the door and rested uneasily with his sword in easy reach. Morning came too soon… especially since Anders was no where to be found when Fenris emerged from his room the next day.


	5. Never Again the Drinking Times

Hawke was drunk, he was definitely drunk because that was the only explanation for Fenris launching himself at Anders and kissing him like.. that. He looked over to Varric who was too busy writing down the date those two finally realized they were hot for each other to be of help.

Isabela was making eyes at Sebastian, running her hands through that red hair and making her way to his lap, despite his protests. Merrill was giggling as she peeked at Varric's notes, and Aveline threw up her hands and stalked off. Hawke was regretting his suggestion of game night at the estate instead of the Hanged Man as usual.

He groaned as Anders and Fenris pushed and pulled each other up the stairs into one of the guest bedrooms… wait that was his room! He let his head hit the table, unable to believe a game of truth or dare had gotten so out of hand.

He resolved never, ever to ask Anders where he was pierced or tattooed, what Fenris could do with his markings besides the bad fisting trick, nor what Merrill could do with Keeper magic. He still regretted asking her to show what she could do with vines that one time.

A loud yelp in Starkhaven brogue got his attention as Sebastian squirmed away from Isabela… or was it closer? He couldn't tell any more, the room was spinning and the night was a wash as far as he was concerned. He didn't want to think about what those two were getting up to in his room.

He winced as he heard a loud crash, and hoped they hadn't broken his bed. They were hard to get fixed, almost harder to replace lately. He'd make Anders fix it… that was his last coherent thought as he passed out at the table, Merrill's giggles and Varric's raspy voice calling her Daisy following him to slumber.

Fenris opened his eyes and groaned… something was digging into his back and his tongue felt like he'd licked Hawke's mabari Magnum for luck again. He turned his head, tried to get up and promptly fell out of the remains of Hawke's bed. Apparently the mages elbow had been digging into his back, as he sat there looking as bad as Fenris felt.

"Mage?"

"Shhhh, stop yelling… please."

"I'm not. We're both hung over. What did we do in here?"

"Apparently shagged like it was the end of the world. I can't believe we broke Hawke's bed, he is going to kill us."

Anders moaned again, and closed his eyes. Maybe if he sat still, the room would stop spinning and his head would stop feeling like its going to explode.

Fenris found his footing, and stood up. He made it to the adjoining bath chamber and dunked his head into the tub, cold water and all. It wasn't ideal but it would wake him up. He got shoved out of the way as Anders came in, seeking a bucket to void his stomach in then collapse on the floor. He looked up at Fenris, who was still nude, but shivering in cold room.

"Can't you heal yourself?"

"Can't cure hangover, only the headache. Though once Hawke sees what we did, I might just wish for a hangover again. Help?"

Fenris helped him up and they searched for their clothes… Fenris getting dressed in record time, but Anders found his clothes… in pieces all over the room. He looked over to Fenris who shrugged as he pulled on his gauntlets, then hid one behind his back as he found a shred of cloth stuck on the tip of the claws.

"Well, on top of all that we did my clothes are ruined. Maker, no more drinking like that again, ever. Even if it did lead to the best shag of my life."

"Use one of Hawke's robes…until you can get home at least."

Anders sighed, grabbed the remains of his coat, slipped into one of Hawke's dressing gowns and followed Fenris downstairs. He ran right into the elf as Fenris stopped on the stair, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Isabela was curled around Sebastian, who was out of his armor and that damned Andraste faced belt buckle, Varric was in front of the fireplace, head in Merrills lap while she cradled Bianca in a suggestive way and Hawke was nowhere to be seen.

Anders whispered in Fenris' ear, hoping no one woke up as they tried to leave. "I don't want to know what happened here… try to be quiet."

Fenris whispered back, mindful of how his head still hurt. "I'm always quiet, you need to be careful."

They tried to creep past everyone, and they would have made it if not for Hawke stepping out of the room closest to the exit and giving them both a scathing look.

"Hi Hawke, nice party… gotta go.. kill slavers, or something." Fenris tried to edge past Hawke, not eager to face him after they wrecked his bed.

Anders kept going, pulling Fenris with him… very intentionally avoiding the look he knew Hawke was giving him. He yelped when Hawke grabbed him by the back of the robe he was wearing and smiled at him like he was going to punch him rather than see him out.

"Anders, Fenris… after we all are sober you two are going to help me fix my bed or you will go out and chop down trees and deliver them to the shop so my bed can be rebuilt. Am I clear?"

They both nodded and Anders ran for the door as soon as Hawke let him go. He let go of Fenris and then started laughing at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Fenris rolled his eyes and walked off, which made Anders trail behind him snickering all the way.

Hawke entered the foyer to find everyone slowly coming to, Sebastian jumping back from Isabela like a scalded cat, Merrill giving Varric a look like she had no idea why Bianca was propped against her like that, or why Varric looked so pleased to be in her lap.

He didn't even try to figure it out, instead he went upstairs to face the destruction in his room. While he picked up the room, he vowed never, ever to let his companions have game night at his place again.


	6. Touch

Anders remained silent as Fenris traced his scars with a light touch. He let his mind go back to the times he'd been touched, the scant times someone had not hurt him, or scarred him in some way. He closed his eyes as Fenris came to the large scar that went across his back, dark as the tainted blade that had marked him after Alrik had… used him.

The way he'd screamed as the Templar's blade opened his skin, then burned with the taint of mage bane… the whimpers as Karl mended him as best he could after finding him that night. He flinched and the elf moved his hand away.

"Does it hurt?"

"No… just remembering how I got that one, force of habit…"

"Do you wish to speak of it?"

"Not right now… no."

"What of the others? Could you not heal these if you wanted?"

"I wasn't allowed… if I healed them, how could I remember my place?"

Fenris fell silent, tracing each mark with grim determination to remake them in an image of care, of someone touching for reasons other than harm. The one that made Anders twist away was a word, one he knew… one that bothered him. Hawke and Anders had taught him to read and write, yet being able to decipher that word on his lovers flesh made him seethe, pausing in his touches once more.

"Ser Karras did that to me. He didn't like me…and after catching me with another mage after curfew cut that into my flesh. I felt each letter as if he were searing it with flame rather than the tip of his dagger.

He let me heal it enough to keep it from being infected but not enough to keep it from closing. Karl couldn't fix it… he tried but it's still there after all this time. Faded, but it will always be a bright red stain on my robes in my mind. Four letters nearly undid me that night, it nearly pushed me over the edge to wanting to end it."

"I am glad you did not succumb to this urge. I would not be able to tell you that you are not such a thing. You are a man, annoying, self righteous, and a bit mad but not that. You are mine, and I will never shame you with such a word, nor will anyone else or they will have my blade at their throat."

"It's only a word Fenris… well I can say that now. Thank you for your anger on my behalf. It's comforting in a way."

"Mage… you are mine to defend, to care for, and only I may touch you, especially like this."

Anders had nothing he could say that would not sound like mushy tripe that Fenris would only roll his eyes at, so instead he smiled as he turned over and kissed his lover gently.

"Yes, I am yours."


	7. Trust

Of all the people in the world that Anders thought would have his life in his hands, it was never the elf. One wrong move and he would be pulled over the edge of the chasm with him, likely snarling and cursing him until they hit bottom.

Anders amber eyes met dark green with a measure of fear as he held on for life, dangling off the edge of Sundermount thanks to a blast of Force magic than nearly tumbled them all to their doom.

"Mage…"

"Fenris…"

"Do not panic or you will pull us both over. When I pull, you need to follow, do not resist."

"Got it."

Anders has no flippant remark, no moment of ill timed humor to soothe his nerves. He can't look down or he will do the opposite of what the elf needs him to do.

Fenris braces himself, Hawke holding his belt… just in case…and pulls Anders up to the edge of the mountain, over to relative safety again. He moves back to the safety of the rock, back to the solid earth before he sinks to the ground in relief. He'd nearly died several times over, but something about dangling over the edge of an abyss was too much.

He must have been sitting there long enough to concern the others, the next thing to enter his gaze was a pair green eyes looking at him with a mild air of… concern.

"Mage… are you —-"

Fenris was cut off by Anders giving him a fierce hug and thanking him. He pushed Anders off of him, worried that he had finally gone around the bend.

"Do not … hug me mage."

"I… sorry, I couldn't help it. Thank you Fenris, I am in your debt."

"It is nothing, you have saved me in battle before."

"Perhaps, but never from the edge of death… literally."

Fenris made a face at him, his usual look of distrust… but tempered by something else. They walked back to town in silence, Anders thinking on his experience and Fenris reconsidering the mage and his habit of hugging people. Perhaps, it wasn't always a bad thing.

They parted ways in Hightown, Hawke, Sebastian and Fenris heading home, and Isabela walking with Anders. Fenris let Sebastian and Hawke go ahead when he ran back whispered in Anders ear before rejoining them.

Anders smiled as Isabela needled him for what Fenris had said to him.

"Sorry Isabela, I'm not breaking his trust like that. You'll have to ask him if you want to know. Good night"

She left him for the Hanged Man, chuckling at their slow dance around each other, wondering when they would finally admit what hung between them, fragile yet strong as silk.


	8. Winter Doesn't Always Mean It's Cold

Fenris hated that he had to go to work on one of Anders rare days off. He knew that having a doctor for a partner would mean discordant schedules but all he wanted to was to stay in bed with him, not face the Chicago winter howling outside their window.

Anders mumbled something as he got out of bed, turning over to find the spot Fenris had vacated.

"Go back to sleep."

"Hmmmpgh."

Fenris smirked as he pulled the covers back over his lover and got his day started. He came out to find Anders had gotten up anyway and made him coffee.

"You didn't have to get up, it's your day off."

"I can go back to bed, I want to see you off." Anders leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He knew if he gave him a kiss on the lips Fenris would be late … again.

"Rub it in why don't you?"

"Sorry love, I'll make it up to you when you get home. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Yes, please. I'll be done at 5, luckily all my meetings are early today."

"Ok, have a good day love… see you tonight."

Fenris gave him a kiss, grabbed his coffee and left for a long day of meetings and all the minutia that came along with his job. At lunch he smiled at a text from Anders, reminding him that he missed him and he would see him later.

The day went by quickly… and Fenris was glad to put the day behind him as he stepped out to find Anders pulling up in their silver Audi with a smile and a travel mug full of hot cider.

"How was your day love?"

"Usual, corporate ass kissing from nine to noon, lunch, then more minutia until my brain called it quits around 4:30. Thanks for the cider, it's just what I needed."

"Well not quite cider, I was busy today… I made wassail and there's dinner ready in the crock pot when we get home."

"I thought this had a bit of a kick to it. You haven't been drinking this and driving?"

"No, I'll have some with dinner. I know better than that, I'd lose my license and I see the results of drunk drivers coming through the hospital too often to be that foolish.

"I know… sorry…"

"No worries, I know how you feel about it. Just relax, enjoy your drink until we get home and then we will have dinner and you can unwind."

"I can't argue with that."

Fenris closed his eyes until they got home, he didn't get the chance to do anything before Anders shooed him off to change into something comfortable while he served dinner. They ate in companionable silence, with Fenris doing the dishes while Anders dried. After everything was put away they sat in the living room, cups of wassail in hand and desert cooling in the kitchen.

"Up for desert?"

"No, I'm stuffed from dinner. Thanks for this, it's nice to come home to you and dinner on the table."

Anders grinned… "Thank my mum, she made sure I didn't starve before I went off to school. She wanted to be sure I wouldn't try to survive on Twinkies and Mountain dew during med school."

"So many of my friends did that, but instead it was red bull and skittles, or uppers while in grad school."

"Remind me never to enter buildings they designed then."

"Not all the time you sod." Fenris smirked as he finished his drink and lay against Anders chest. He relaxed as Anders wrapped his arms around him and hummed in contentment.

"Fen…"

"Yes Anders?"

"Sorry that our days off don't sync up this week."

"Not your fault, besides we both have two days off together next week and vacation soon. I'm falling asleep… let's get in bed."

"Hmm, perhaps I fed you too well… you weren't supposed to be so tired you fell asleep."

"Sorry Anders, long day and the winter never has agreed with me. I hate the cold."

"Yet you suffer it to remain here with me."

"Well, love makes one do stupid things you know."

Anders sat up and kissed Fenris until he couldn't breathe after that. "I love you too. Go on, I'll clean up the kitchen."

Fenris left him to his task, a grin on his face as he trailed the blanket with him back to the bedroom. Anders put everything away, and joined Fenris… wrapping himself around the smaller man… and yelping when his cold feet brushed against his.

"Maker, put on some socks, your feet are like ice!"

"Hate socks, and they aren't particularly sexy if I wake up and want to fuck you."

"You are a strange man Fenris…but I won't say no to waking up for that, cold feet or not. Now go to sleep…I'll keep you warm."

The only answer Anders got was a mumbled g'night and Fenris pressing himself into Anders as far as he could for warmth. He laid a soft kiss on the back of his neck and joined him in slumber, sod everything else that may come.


	9. Within Me

Fenris wasn't being facetious when he told Varric that he often spent his time choreographing elaborate dance routines in his house when no one was around. The man often grated on his nerves with his incessant inquiries into his personal life, but he generally liked him. He waved him off as he tried to finish his travel plans for their annual conference.

He hated flying, but there was no easy way to get out to San Jose from where he lived without flying. He could take a train but it added two days to his trip both ways and he wanted convenience more than anything. Once everything was booked he texted his partner, Garrett… to see if he could still go with him, they were planning to make it a vacation of sorts but he had a bigger surprise in store for him on Saturday night. He grinned as he sent a text back to him, then closed down for the day.

He'd taken a couple extra days off for their anniversary, not giving Garrett a clue what he had in mind, hoping he was able to pull off the surprise he had in store for him. He was still smiling as he got on the train home, excited for what he had in store for his lover. He'd been a professional dancer once, not that anyone but Garrett knew that. It was fun, paid well for doing something he enjoyed and he'd probably still be dancing for a living if he hadn't been in that accident.

No, he wouldn't think about the accident that had put an end to his career nor left him with scarring all over his body. He hated the white marks, but Garrett didn't find them repulsive no matter how much he hated them. Fenris relaxed for the rest of the commute, listening to the song he planned to dance to repeatedly, planning each step in his head until he could get home and practice. He smirked, wondering what Garrett would think when he stepped into their den clad only in the silk scarves that had been a gift from his partners latest excursion to Bali.

Hopefully he would actually get to finish the dance before Garrett jumped him, the man was not known for his patience when he was in the mood. Finally Fenris arrived at home, finding Garrett already in the kitchen, making dinner and playing music as he bopped around the kitchen. He turned around and smiled at Fenris, happy to have him home.

"Mind setting the table? Dinner is almost ready."

"Sure, let me get out of my work clothes."

Fenris changed into more comfortable clothes and returned to set the table, pleased the Garrett had set out a bottle of red to breathe before dinner. Dinner was a quiet affair, each of them sharing their day… tapering out to a pleasant evening in bed, Fenris dropping off to sleep with Garrett, a smirk on his lips even as he slumbered.

Garrett woke up, surprised that Fenris was still in bed… sound asleep. He gave him a kiss on the forehead as he got out and into the shower. He came out to a grumpy partner that seemed still half asleep.

"Why are you still here?"

"Hnnnn?"

"Right, no talking before you've had coffee. Go back to sleep Fenris."

Fenris got right back in bed and pulled the covers over his head as Garrett got ready for work, leaving a note for Fenris instead of waking him again. Eventually he stirred and got his brain moving with the power of coffee, taken black as always. He smiled when he read Garrett's note, realizing he'd forgotten to mention he took the day off. After a brief text to his partner he got his day started, which included a lengthy shower, breakfast then, finally a final run through of the routine he'd planned for that night.

Garrett breezed through his day, eager to be home. Especially after the random text messages from Fenris, mostly saying I love you, miss you and happy anniversary. He picked up a dozen roses on the way home, a bottle of Fenris' favorite wine and sushi. He entered to find a note on the dining room table requesting his presence in the den, no shoes and to bring the wine already breathing on the side board.

Garrett muttered "What is he up to?" as he did as requested then entered to find their den transformed into a realm of comfort. The couch pushed to the side, all the cushions and pillows piled into a small mountain and Fenris standing there, a smile on his face, the scarves he'd gifted him draped around his hips like a kilt, a circlet of silver around one ankle, another gift from Garrett's travels. The only other adornment was a red silk scarf wound around his wrist, a favor from Garrett after their six month anniversary, something he kept on him at all times, a symbol of how much Garrett meant to him.

"Hi… you… wow." Garrett came over and kissed his partner, a mischievous grin on his face. "If I'd known I'd come home and find you like this I would have left sooner."

Fenris smirked as he gently pushed Garrett into the mound of pillows, a smile on his face. Not the usual one reserved for everyone else but sultry, eager and only for Garrett. "Sit back and enjoy the show"

He clicked play, let the music take hold of him. Every move, every turn, dip and whirl of his body took him closer to Garrett, teasing him with a whisper of touch, a brush of scarves against his fingertips… then he moved away, the change in tempo, the switch from violin to the harp then to each different instrument pulling him into his own world, where only the music mattered, where nothing could touch him besides the beat.

Only as it drew to a close did he return to the moment, Garrett who sat there transfixed by his dance, seeing the grace and beauty hidden away from the world but given to him as a gift, freely by his partner as a show of trust and devotion.

In time with the end of the song, Fenris dropped into Garretts lap, a smile on his lips and eyes shining. Garrett had always wanted to see him dance, but he'd never given in to the request. He knew in giving this to him, he'd succeeded in making this anniversary special for them. He kissed Garrett, a little out of breath but happy.

"So, did you like your gift?"

"Yes, you're amazing Fenris. When did you decide to do this?"

"Months ago when I saw the video posted on youtube. I've had to do routines to similar music and I knew I wanted to give you this last part of myself as part of your anniversary gift. I got the ok from my doctor, in fact he thinks I can return to dancing for fun, so I got a gift as well."

"Thank you Fenris… that was amazing, and I'm glad you found a use for the scarves."

Fenris huffed a laugh as he untangled himself from Garrett and stood up. "I was worried you'd be angry at me for using them like this actually. Now, let's eat and I can give you the rest of your gifts."

"You've already given me the best gift of all Fenris, you… all of you."

Fenris didn't say a word, he just took Garrett's hand and tugged him into the dining room, plans for his next routine forming… perhaps for Garrett's birthday.


	10. Grieve for Me Only in Dreams

Fenris sat there in the dirt next to Anders, numb and unable to move. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but when Hawke made to get him to a stand…all he knew was Hawke was trying to take him away from Anders… that make him respond.

"No… leave him alone Hawke."

"Fenris, we can't… we can't leave you out here and we can't leave him here. We need to take his body back and have a funeral."

"I will carry him. Merrill, take his staff."

Fenris carried Anders body back to his home and laid him out, brushing a strand of red-gold hair away from his face. None of them except Hawke and Merrill knew why he grieved for the mage they thought he loathed. He sat there, unsure what to do with his body, unclear on what custom was in Kirkwall. All he knew in that moment was a sharp pain, that cut him as surely as a blade.

He touched the cooling face of the man he'd been with for two years, the man he'd fought with, learned to care for and the one he'd opened his heart to in secret. They had kept their relationship secret because it was theirs and theirs alone. He looked up to find Merrill standing there with Anders staff in her hands, unsure of what to do or what to say to him.

"Stay, I will go to the clinic and see what we can…put him to rest in. Hawke will you come with me?"

"Sure…"

Hawke said nothing more, just walked with Fenris to the clinic and helped him find the spare greatcoat that Anders kept along with a set of black clothes he wore on rare occasions. Fenris took the few things that Anders held dear as mementos of his lover, the pillow embroidered by his mother, the lyrium ring he'd been given by Justice when he was still in another host, the stash of raven feathers, and the collar worn by his cat.

Somehow Fenris found the will to move his feet, the will to return home and face Anders body when all he wanted to do was hide, mourn and sink into himself.

He'd finally told them about their relationship, that night as he kept vigil with Sebastian, Hawke, Varric and Merrill. He told them of how they'd reached an accord and how happy they were.

He recounted the battle that took Anders from them, the anguished scream as a slavers blade pierced him through the chest, he shared all but Anders final words to him. That was for him alone to carry with him in memory of the man that won his heart. They finally saw why he grieved so deeply, and they remained with him until the next morning, Merrill remaining to keep watch over him so that he did not join Anders in his grief.

Sebastian arranged for a funeral, away from the city but close enough for them to visit the cairn when they were able to deal with their loss. Hawke built the funeral pyre, and Varric had the cairn set up while Fenris looked on, unable to do more than watch them do what was needed. He felt useless, angry, but could not muster the energy to do more than stand vigil over Anders body, now dressed in black, his hair loose around his face.

He looked peaceful at last, but that brought no solace to Fenris' heart as they walked out to the cave where he would be set upon the pyre, then most of his ashes put into a cairn, with a small amount into an amulet for Fenris to keep.

Fenris had woven two of the raven feathers into his hair with Merrill's help, the chain from Anders other pauldrons wrapped around his wrist, the ring slipped through it as a keepsake. To anyone who looked, it seemed more that Fenris was the one to be sent back to the Maker than his fallen lover.

He sank his sword into the ground on one side of the pyre, Anders staff on the other to safeguard his passing from this world to the next. Sebastian spoke of a man he did not know well, but spoke of him gently for Fenris' sake. It didn't matter to Fenris, he stood there between Hawke and Merrill, staring at Anders for the last time. He looked over when it had been silent for too long, and realized that they were waiting for him to say something to memorialize Anders but no words would come to him.

He shook his head no at the unspoken query, instead he went over and gave his promise to Anders to see him on the other side, and in another life… spoken in his mother tongue, words only for the mage who would hopefully find him again on the other side of the Veil when it was his time to go. He laid one final kiss to his lips and said goodbye.

He stood next to Merrill and gave her permission to start the pyre. He sank to his knees, head down and palms up as Anders returned to ashes, everyone saying goodbye around him. He remained that way until the fire died down and Merrill took care of the part that Fenris could not bring himself to do. He remained that way until Merrill pressed the amulet into his hand, still warm… deceptively so.

"Come, let's put him to rest then we can go back."

He let her pull him to his feet, and he pulled his sword and Anders staff from the ground, and followed Merrill. She took the staff and gave him the urn, and moved back, respectful of his space to give a final farewell.

Fenris remained there with his head bowed, hand on the cairn until finally he was able to stand and head back to town. He allowed Merrill to remain at his side until he got home… then realized he would be alone, truly alone for the first of many nights to come.

"I can stay, there is no shame in asking for company in your grief. We all miss him."

Fenris tugged her inside, crawled into their… no his bed now and finally let the tears fall, finally screamed out the grief that threatened to consume him… until he had nothing left, nothing but an empty bed, an emptier heart and time left to fill the space until he passed through the Veil to join Anders. He finally slept as Merrill coaxed him to lay down and remain still. She sat with him, keeping watch until the dawn of the next day and every day after that.


End file.
